Remember when Gold's Gym was on Venice Beach, and all the meatheads would pump iron in front of ditzy chicks with daddy issues? It was in all the pictures of all the fitness magazines: iconic images of bodybuilders holding three bikini-clad women in one arm while giving the classic biceps pose with the other.
The Late '60's to Early '80's were definitely the heyday for Gold's Gym; all the black and whites you'd see of people feeling 'Ah-nold's mah-sools;' the yellow-drenched, blighted, pre-SX-70 Polaroids of dads with their sons watching some bodybuilder hammer out 400-pound bench presses with a **cough cough** controlled rage?
Those days are long over, and the Gold's Gym at Nacogdoches and Thousand Oaks is a fall from Venice Beach Grace like no other. It's the Dana Plato of the entire gym franchise's Growing Pains. You pickin' up what I'm throwin' down? You readin' the mail?
It's a dump.
And speaking of 'dump,' there is always - and I mean ALWAYS - someone in the stall at this Gold's Gym Men's Room casting odors afoul. Always. The Men's Room at the Gold's Gym on Nacogdoches and Thousand Oaks is a malodorous symphony of chlorine pool bleach, cheap cologne, and overwhelming undertones of sulfur.
I hate this place, but let's analyze it... so that you will too.
The Bottleneck |
NEVER occupied. |
At least one is ALWAYS occupied. |
What you become in a later life if you're a horrible, horrible person. |
No hair dryer cord should be that long. EVER. |
"No way, Nick. You're crazy!" Am I? Then how do you explain the HAIRDRYER in the top left corner??? And you know WHY that cord's so long? Because a lot of the time... it ain't just the hair on their HEAD that gets blow dried!
And people want to tease me for working out in a Haz-Mat suit...
The San Antonio Mens' Room at Gold's Gym on Nacogdoches and Thousand Oaks is clearly not the worst Men's Room in the city. Nope, that title belongs to the famed 'Thursty Turtle,' and it would take a lone outhouse on the skirts of a city after the Apocalypse to oust it from its position, but you don't have to pay a membership to use that one!
This doesn't really lie on Gold's so much as it falls upon the shoulders of all the people using Gold's. There's so many retirees and bouncers that work out here, they've got nothing better to do than hang out all day, and in the process, obliterate the sanctity of the public Men's Room.
One puck.