Why SA Men's Room Reviews

We've all been there:

A nice restaurant serving the most incredible food you've ever eaten.  So good, you've gone to your Thesaurus App for a quick search on 'AWESOME' synonyms to help breathe life into your Yelp and Urbanspoon reviews.

The service is impeccable ("You don't have to write any of this down?"), there's no lipstick on your wine glasses or forks, and your date - who just so happens to be way out of your league - gets what's left of her meal wrapped in a fancy foil animal (read: more food for you tomorrow).  Blown away by the ship they're running, you excuse yourself from the table and make your way to the Men's Room.

You confidently push through that door to the Realm of the Unknown without so much as a second thought: "Chef commands the best from his culinary brigade, surely he must...

"OHMYGOD!"

A backed up toilet, a trash bag over the urinal, and a sink leaking a corrosive liquid that has stained a nice, brownish yellow line into the porcelain. No soap, no paper towels - unless you want to choose one from the top of the stack overflowing from the trash can that looks "clean."  The fluorescent light fixture above the cracked mirror pulses on and off, triggering some sort of low-level seizure, and a handwritten sign taped to the peeling paint catches your attention: "Employees Must Wash Hands."

"I'm sure they wash their hands... but where?   Must be at a sink in the kitchen that I... can't... see...  WHY DOES THE ONE AREA ANYONE CAN COME INTO SMELL LIKE A SEPTIC TANK???"

Shaken - disturbed, even - you quietly exit, knowing the worst part is, the guy after you thinks you're responsible for it all.

From restaurants to gas stations to halftimes at the SBC Center, Men's Rooms are make-or-break moments for any establishment.  Doesn't matter how good their product or service is, if their bathrooms aren't clean, then that establishment's got a black eye.  "Davy Crockett died here?  How interesting... You're out of toilet paper."

Which brings us to this blog...

Here you will find unbiased reviews of the haves and have-nots of area Men's Rooms - who's got the good ones, and who has the bad ones.  Given that I hope to add a female writer to review women's latrines, I will keep this site as linguistically clean as possible.  (God knows, that's just for the sake of you being able to access it at work.  It has nothing to do with respect to women; I used to clean up after them when I was bartending, and the things you'd see, man.  Oh, the things.  You'd.  See.)

We work on a Five-Puck system (where 1 sucks, and 5 is as if I cleaned it), and we welcome suggestions.

Enjoy the show, and thanks so much,

Editor